Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
