I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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