I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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