What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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