And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
we're so committed to being not committed
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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