Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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