Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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