yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize