During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize