I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
