I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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