Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
