Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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