She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
