I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize