she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
