All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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