This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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