Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
