So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
