you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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