If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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