Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
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