Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
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Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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