Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I party with great urgency now.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
