YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
