Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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