you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
