She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
