ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." ๐ ๐๐ท
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think weโre doing good
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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