Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize