I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
wow bdsm is so cute
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
