Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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