He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Four minutes until I can fart!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
why is half of my head shaved?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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