Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
