Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
