I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
