he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize