There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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