your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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