people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
