i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
