After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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