Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
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These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
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I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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