is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
