I met the friendliest cop last night
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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