I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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