Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
