went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
