5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
