do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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