Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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