Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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