If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
