So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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