I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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