The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
