My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
