There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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